Monday, June 14, 2010

Incredible Marriage Advice

Sometimes the strangest things sparks moments of introspection. My daughter was watching The Incredibles a few days ago. It's a cute movie about super heroes who are forced to keep their abilities hidden because of a government edict against heroes.

The mother seems okay with this turn in her life. She focuses on keeping her home and caring for her children and doesn't seem to mind that she can't fully realize her abilities. The father, on the other hand, is clearly dissatisfied with his life. He goes to work doing something he hates and occasionally sneaks around with his friend to secretly do super hero things. The movie heats up when the father is lured into a trap by his former enemy and the whole family is forced to put on their hero personas and save the world. It's a Disney movie so, of course, there is a happy ending.

Okay, so, here's where it sparked introspection. The husband was dissatisfied and, so, was easily tempted to do what he shouldn't have done. The wife was dismissive of the husband's feelings and a bit harpy. She just wanted him to accept their life and forget everything else. But, I don't think she was helping him toward that goal. Was she making him feel like a hero in his house? Not really.

Now, obviously the husband bears responsibility for giving in to temptation. But I think the wife has some responsibility too. Isn't part of our role as wives to help our husbands find fulfillment? We can't encourage our husbands to do illegal things but, perhaps, we can help them see the good in what they have.

So, it was just a cartoon, nothing life shattering. Still, it caused to me stop and think about my life and my marriage. Do I build my husband up? Or am I constantly harping on him to suck it up all while ignoring that he is miserable? I hope not.

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